I haven't had much time or energy to blog lately and things have been sort of boring around here--cycles of sickness and snow. See picture of most recent snowman (no, I didn't swallow the previous one). I'm huge and exhausted. Alternately feeling guilty for putting the kids in front of the TV so I can nap or feeling guilty at the end of a busy day when I didn't get to lay down and my body is punishing me for it (hoping just me and not the baby). I just can't seem to remember that sometimes you need to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.I've reached the point where the baby's "cooked" and ready to stick a fork in so I guess it could be any day. Physically I'm so ready to have the the baby out, but I'm not sure if I'm quite ready for the baby in the cradle waking me up at night.
I find myself thinking often about what would be the best birth day. I was sort of excited about the possibility of a leap day baby, though maybe the kid would feel gyped out of a "real" birthday. Maybe something with a cool title like "the Ides of March" or St. Patrick's Day. This is all amplified by the fact that I'm due on my birthday, which is about the only day I really don't want to have her. Selfishly, I don't want to be baking a cake and throwing a party on one of the only days of the year I can claim "absolutely no dishes" or "sleeping in until I feel like it." Plus, it would be a little disappointing for the kid too--always having to share a day even when she's a teenager and I'm totally uncool. Not to mention someday when I kick the bucket, she'll have to be a little sad on her birthday since it was my birthday too. It's just better if it's another day all together (are you listening, God?). How about tomorrow?
6 comments:
Hi Rachel:
Praying for you during these last days of pregnancy. And I just had to comment, as my son, Kirk, was born on on my 28th birthday. I have said more than once that he was/is my best birthday present ever. He says he can't understand how being in labor could be the best....Over the last few years we have shared a special dinner out, but we have not always shared the day. I also say that I gave my birthday to him, especially as I began aging more and more.
Whichever day the Lord chooses, I trust that he will show you His amazing and abundant grace, mercy and love. Sharon Thornburg
although the day I spent in labor with Noah was the worst birthday EVER, he is in fact, the best birthday gift EVER. So I guess it balances out. Also, I don't think of it as "my" birthday anymore. The day is kind of his, and I am an afterthought. That could be a good thing as I continue to age, and don't look forward to my birthday as much.
Love the snowman pic. Cutest kids and cutest Mama! I swear you are carrying differently this time...
I'm becoming a bah humbug of birthdays - they aren't all they are cracked up to be. But, I'll still pray that baby comes another day. :)
You do look like you swallowed the other snowman. But, snowman looks good in you! And hey, at least you can build a snowman.
Can't wait for you to meet this precious (birthday) gift that God has in store for you.
Rachel -
I am so excited for you!! Can't wait to hear the big news of her arrival.
I am thinking of you and praying for a speedy and uneventful delivery!!
Love you...
rachel-
any baby yet?? praying for her soon. i can totally relate to that end of the day feeling, tv vs nap guilt. by the way, i'm still experiencing it with the baby around. yikes! much love to you all. love allie
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