Suther Land

Asher stuck his hand on a hot burner last week and immediately blistered his fingers and his heart as he struggled to deal with the pain. I raced to the sink and held his hand under cold water for ten minutes or so. He began to relax and get annoyed that he couldn't get down and play (I'm sure the unscathed part of his hand was freezing) but I knew that the moment we removed the artificial coldness, the burn would begin to hurt again. I also knew it had to be done.

All told we went through about two hours of almost constant screaming as the waves of pain burned under his skin. I would alternate a little ice and try to get him to fall asleep, but he would wake up every 30 seconds in pain. From past experience with burns I knew that that pain was necessary.

I found this experience to be a metaphor for other situations in my life (as so much is in parenting). We are often scathed by suffering: the loss of a loved one, betrayal of a friend. For awhile we can balm the wound, pretend as if it's not there--run it under cold water. But sooner or later we have to let it hurt--and hurt bad--resisting the temptation to soothe ourselves artificially. Only then will the pain begin to subside and fade, though the scar may always remain.